my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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