youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You took a bar mat shot.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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