life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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