Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
