Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
