I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
