I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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