Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
