An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
