I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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