remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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