why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
