we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
