Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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