What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
