So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
