He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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