Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
