I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
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The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
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Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit