white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing