On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.