Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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