dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize