She said her name was "party"
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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