so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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