Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
