Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
