If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
