I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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