awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
