i barfeds in our rink
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
