Tell her she can't have a vagina
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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