i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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