what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
