You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
