you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
