never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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