new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
