My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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