Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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