Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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