The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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