he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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