I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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