i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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