Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
