You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Who died my cat blue again?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
