so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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