Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
