yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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