idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I wear drunk well.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
