do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
