you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Still dying that you shit outside
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
