I love black thongs
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
