dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
this will be a night to untag.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
