I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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