I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
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Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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