my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
