my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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